Thoughts of life: October 2009

Wat a sad story I have. I'm arranging my marriage but unfortunately for me, I have to go through all the obstacles. This time, my family are worried about H1N1 and they are suggesting to do a small akad first then later on maybe in 6 months after the H1N1 have subside, do the reception pulak. Mana tak aku become crazy and really mad. These are my few arguments:

Akad Nikah in Masjid Wilayah is permitted but reception have to be postponed. This doesnt make sense to me because:

1) Masjid Wilayah is a public places. If H1N1 nak kena, we should be in the house and not public places that will have a lot of ppl.

2) My akad is on Friday @10:30 in the morning, where Solat Jumaat will be taking place. As you know, and everyone knows, solat jumaat there will be quite a big crowd of Muslimin coming for prayer. Moreover, its not a small mosque or unpopular mosque. Wouldnt we be passing the crowd too. Takkan tak bertembung kan? If the ppl yang bertembung tuh ada H1N1, macamana?

3) Another reason my family give was, the tempat akad n tempat solat different place. Yes, I agree but it is all in under one roof. So kalau nak pi toilet. You still have to go out of the room / dewan to go to toilet.

4) The akad nikah room and the dewan makan is a seperate rooms and you still need to go out the passage way to go to the dewan makan.

5) My family is letting me invite my office friends. My office frends are 70 ppl, not including their spouse and children. This is not consider a small gathering anymore. Wat is the different between the akad nikah kenduri and the reception. This is a mind boggling.

6) If just in case the government order a caffeur, wouldn't the tok kadi also is not permitted to go out of the house?

7) My family said, the akad nikah is a small group than the reception. Reception is a total of 400 ppl. 250 ppl on my side, and 150 ppl in his side. Actually the invitation is only 100 ppl because it is cosider couple. Meanwhile, all the ppl that aren't invited to the reception will be invited to the akad nikah. Consider this, it includes my officemate that is around more than 70 ppl plus their spouse and children, including my aunties friends, mothers frends and neighbours and families. So you make you own head count. I think it will be more than the reception.

Nevertheless, to do a nikah gantung will have difficulties such as:
1) Wat if i were to pregnant. So the reception will be a totally cancel. I will not do the reception anymore after I gave birth.

2) It will cause fitnah when he brings me around like balik kg especially when I have a belly. Because the purpose of reception and kenduri is to tell ppl we are legally married and to jamu org makan.

3) After marriage, we will need money to build our family, house etc...so when we have important things to spend on, we will thing twice to spend on an expensive reception.

4) I have to diet again. And spend money and time on that.

5) We do not know when is H1N1 will be over. And we do not know if the condition will get worse or better. Wat if after 6 months there are new viruses emerged?

6) If the reason because H1N1, can we stop ppl from deliver a baby. Oh by the way, my cousin, that is my uncle's daughter is pregnant. Im just wondering, can he stop his daughter from giving birth. Some more pregnant women are high risk. Additional to that, my cousin is a doctor and she is working in a hospital. Does she stop working in a hospital because of H1N1? I think you know wat is my point.

7) Just to add, my akad nikah is the same day with Serina (Chef Wan's daughter). She is doing her akad in the same mosque as I am, only hers is in the evening. Will she do the reception after that or will she hault her reception because H1N1? Another celebrity is having her wedding in January is Umie Aida. For me, artist guest list are alot more than I am with all the reporters. If they can proceed their wedding smoothly without 'sangkak' (obstacles) I will be very very dam devastated.

8) I have to argue with my auntie about room. She is giving me a hard time in clearing up the room. Wat she is doing is only making me feel worse and insulted. Cakap lain, buat lain. Tapi kita bersabar dan berserah pada yg Esa.

Conclusion.

If Allah say, Im not destined to marry this guy. Than at that time God will do something, things that I cannot avoid to get marry. But if only ppl just creating a big fuss and problems, that is call tak dak pasai carik pasai. Im just tension and sad, a marriage could be simple and easy, but why everyone is making a difficult time for me?